though it's not really my genre, i like it.
nice style. like i said, your manliness shows (woo, pink man! haha)
you're good with giving details. it's enough to give the reader a general idea, but not too much so it leaves just the right amount to imagination.
one comment though. your word choice. i know how you actually speak so i know that you really do have a thing for 'em sesquipedalians, but really now, with your word choice, you'd send a normal person rushing to the dictionary every so often. not that it's a bad thing, i mean, i personally love literature pieces that could send me to the dictionary, but that's just me being an english freak. try to lessen the "big words" a bit.
overall, good job, pepto!

Very impressed with it, you have great detail and character profiles. I admit I love your style and vocabulary as well, seems fitting to the times as well as to be read aloud smoothly.
Great work

This was very well-written! Good grammar, good description...your characters are developed, with their own personalities and their own histories.

I was impressed. Can't wait to see what happens next.