I cant believe he did that!

i LOVED the last part!

SUPER cool!

What a wonderful story, or idea, or whatever! I really love the intricate plot that you tell here.

Now I can't wait to see what happens when they meet Narin!

I like how you built up to it, telling the story and the memories, combining them at the end of this chapter.

Can't wait to read more!

I liked it, it was very different and quite enjoyable!

Eck that sounds weird! anyway great story bye!

Very interesting. I can't wait to see what happens.

You write about the spy very well. I have suspicions, but I feel like there's some sort of twist. You're keeping me on my toes. Well done!

-D.D.

Interesting. It leaves one to wonder what part the sisters have to play in the unfolding tale.

If I may make a suggestion, I feel like the characters are very plain. I can't really find a difference in their personalities. And that's half the fun, knowing which characters you can relate to and like, and which ones to route for.

Keep up the good work!

-D.D.

Ooh interesting! It's like they're reading a life they forgot about! You always end the chapters in a way that makes the reader want more! I hope you continue this soon!

My goodness, it has been such a long time since I have read anything!

I could have sworn I read this before!

Interesting first chapter! I like where it's going so far, I'll keep reading!

O.O and the storyline progresses! getting much better, as stated before, update ASAP!

okay, sorry for not reading it till now, i just haven't been on the computer for a while. anyway, much better than the first. your sentences are getting more flowy, still choppy, but MUCH better, i bow down to you, oh mighty authoress! (fake bows)

The plot thickens. Are you strengthening the romance in this version (not a suggestion or a criticism, just curiosity :))

Keep up the fabulous work!

-The Captain

Nice beginning. I hope the rest is just as good.

Keep up the good work!

-Captain Dark