I loved the title. It was really eye-catching and interesting. Definitely made me want to read the piece.

I really liked the line break in the first two lines. It just worked really well.

I got confused in the third stanza. You're using you which I assumed was referring to the person who had the woman snatched from him. Then the you seems to be about the person who was snatched. It confused me. Then you go back to he and she. Basically it was pronoun confusion.

I did like the beginning though before I was confused. It really drew you into the piece and the second stanza really gives the reader more insight to the narrator.

PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or the Review Marathon (link in my profile)!

Power Games

18 January 2009

Flour Bluff, Texas

Some people’s only wish is to win all.

They want to chalk the X’s,—knight takes pawn.

Deliberately they scheme every move

As if cold choice life’s puzzle could resolve.

But lacking courage to do what is right

They cannot realize when day meets night

There comes a twilight where to rule by might

Is surely to choke heart with a steel bight.

hey, i really liked this. it was very sad, but good. i liked how the title corresponded with the last line. keep writing :)