I thought it was kinda romantic but the ending is dark, maybe scary, the "vampire" part is amazing.

cool...tho i kinda noticed the twilight references lol

Hmm...it was very nice, but it seemed too much like Edward from the Twilight series. If this is supposed to be a fanfic then its brilliant, but if this is supposed to be your "own" work, then make it your own and don't have your character copy another. Even if this was by accident, maybe you've never read the twilight series, then as a heads up, its very much like him, and anyone who has read the books or seen the movie will make the same inference. Nonetheless, excellent job. The imagery was perfect, the flow, the realism, it was a great little peice, and you should still be very proud. I apologize if it seemed like I attacked you, just trying to make sure no one else does, Peace

Oh, wow. That was amazing. I love your style of writing! Great job!

Oh, it's like an Edward...but not...maybe I've read the books too much to think EVERY vamp is Edward Cullen. Anyway, I really liked this, you did a good job. Very good scenery. One small suggestion: if any neighbors were awake at the time, maybe write in their reaction, if any? Unless if that wouldn't make sense. Just a suggestion. I LOVED it :)

xo Lauren