I suppose this more or less suffices to convey the idea or image of binary stars.

Your descriptions generally capture the sense of stasis of eternally orbiting binary stars, particularly those in the middle like "Two to turn, balanced together".

What is also well-captured is the sheer splendour of the stars despite their fixed orbits, which you summarised quite well in the paradoxical last line - 'A resplendent monotony of revolution'.

What I find interesting is the line 'Forever stirring - firmness founded on fluidity'. If I'm not wrong, you're probably referring to how the impression of order and equilibrium comes from the liquid movement of the eternally rotating stars. Very poetic and alliterative too.

However, I do have a few problems with this. The punctuation, particularly the use of the semi-colon, is not always done appropriately, especially in the fourth line. I don't even know why there should be a semi-colon there.

Also some lines are terribly obscure - the second line and the fourth last - and you have the tendency to capitalise unnecessarily.

All in all, however, it's still a decent job.

Quite frankly, I really like the poem without the long explanation/apology at the end. This is the sort of poem to savor and yet at the end, I found myself reading that note. It felt a bit weird.

I'll tell you why I really like this poem. It's because you managed to find the perfect balance between truly beautiful vivid descriptions and the telling of a story. The words are lovely by themselves and then you call to mind these clear images... it's quite a nice sensation. I love the line "A pair revolving truly as a trio", maybe because I can see it clearly and maybe because it made me think for a moment about music. Silly association, yes, but one that came to mind regardless. I'll admit that I don't like two things about the poem. The first is the occasional capitalization of letters. It's stylistically nice but something about the words you picked to stand out doesn't sit with me too well. I'm not sure why. Also, I don't particularly agree with your sub-subjects of "spiritual/supernatural". It takes this lovely poem and applies it someplace else.

To sum up, a positively lovely poem. It's a great translation of nature to words. Great job.

Breathtaking :D

On a semi-related note, how's your Brit. Lit. 2 course going? Did you like 'Paradise Lost'?

On to the review:
-"The waters swirled under the Spirit." Divine imagery! Wow! :D

-"Crystal spheres resounding, irrelevant." I love the shift between something magnificent, to something 'irrelevant.' It makes me think of how everything compared to 'God' must look so small/insignificant.

-Excellent alliteration in the ninth line!

-"A pair revolving truly as a trio." Absolutely STUNNING imagery! :D

-"Until the world, will in fire burn." Wonderful writing! Great diction!

This was definitely a lovely scientific/religious poem!
-Isca

It's obvious enoughg to me. I really like "waters swirled under the spirit" and "two to turn"--both simple and strikin. Good work--it meshes religion and science as themes and brings some very pretty wording out of the union.