I really don't like how you just call it a rough draft. You should really be proud of your work and try to write it as best you can the first time. There's always room for improvement, but you still still try your hardest your first time.

Anyways, I don't understand why you had basically the last chapter with some more added on for this chapter. Why not just have the second part?

I do like how the story is developing though. I still think it's a great idea.

update soon~

--Jessie my l o v e
p.s. pay it forward please

I like the idea of this story, it's original and interesting.
However, it could have been delivered a bit better. It was confusing at times considering the tenses were constantly changing from past to present.

Also, the description didn't flow too well a lot of the time, but the tense thing probably plays into that as well.

Anyways, onto the next chapter~

--Jessie my l o v e
p.s. pay it forward please

For the review marathon (there's a link in my profile)

You kept switching back and forth between tenses in this chapter, which made it a little awkward to read. In the beginning you're in past tense, but then you switch to present tense in the middle.

I like your descriptions of the night and the woods. It was very easy to imagine the dream she was having.