Oh, wow. In the best of ways. I'm not usually a big fan of the on-again, off-again rhyme scheme, but it works unbelievably here. There's something about it that makes it seem so important, which might sound a little weird, but there really is. There's not a word wasted, from start to finish. I wish I had written this.

Oh, my. I don't know what this could mean, but you've just got all these images in my head, and it's just beautiful. It's broken, yet it has a purpose. It's got the feeling of a free verse while still following a specific format. And, wow, you really know your poetic devices. I don't what to say. The only criticism I could possibly offer is that the first and second lines in the first stanza both ended with 'here', but that's negligible. Just, I adore stuff like this, and this really speaks to me. Please keep writing, because the world needs more literature like this.