Ooh, creepy. It's weird, I had thought about doing something similar to this once, and it never happened...I'm glad it didn't,because I don't think I could have pulled it off as well as you did here. The imagery was wonderful,great attention to detail. Loved it. One thing really caught my attention, though: at the end, you switch the spelling of 'Nicolai' several times, sometimes using a K, others a C, and that was a little strange. Other than that, though, great work.

I was never scared of monsters under the bed, just "the dark things" in my closet as I called them, but I think I might be now! Ah, Nightmare Before Christmas, I forgot the "teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red" thing until you mentioned it. My personal favorite line of that is "I am the 'who' when you call 'whose there?'" Poor Jenny!

Scary. The only suggestion I have is maybe to describe the creatures a bit more. The reader knows they have claws and must be pretty frightening, but that's all we know for sure. And that's just a minor detail. Overall, the story was wonderfully terrifying.

Love the Nightmare Before Christmas reference. This was really good and I enjoyed it. I used to have the same problem when I was younger, but unlike Jenifer, I would sneak into either my parents' or my brother's room to sleep with them.

And yes, virgin meat tastes the best! /laughs/
~Grey

Fascinating idea. I love the imagery used in the story. However, the grammatical errors are quite distracting. Here are some that I caught that perhaps you could fix:


"in was child’s worse nightmare" should be, i believe "it was a child's worst nightmare".

"The figure under the cover’s shook as thunder crackled again, sending shiver’s up her spine."; cover's and shiver's should be without the apostrophes.

"I’m so scarred" in which scarred should be scared.

"you aren’t even really" really should be real.

"grabbing her by the neck twisting it under it snapped" i believe that under is supposed to be until.

"Isn’t that how you heard them coming for you?" heard should be without the d.

"trying to calming her racing heart " just calm, not calming.


Really, your story is brilliant. However, if there are other readers out there like me that gets bothered by these errors so easily, it might make your wonderful fic seem less. Watch out for the typos. ( ;

Once again, I love your fic. Keep up the great work!