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Reviews For: what's inside?
Alien Altered 2009-03-23 . chapter 5
Adorable. Such a fabulous idea! I can't wait for more!
fairytale failure 2009-02-06 . chapter 5
I like these. You develop the characters and stories really well using only the contents of their bags.
all you need is oxygen. 2009-01-28 . chapter 1
i like these.
they give each person personality and an attitude, without even going into what their name is or where they live or what they enjoy doing.
Isca 2009-01-22 . chapter 4
"The pieces of me that know this is wrong." A girl on the road to an eating disorder :(

"Imminent death." So sad!
Isca 2009-01-22 . chapter 3
"Ripped condoms." Striking imagery!

"My dignity." A WONDERFUL way to end this chapter! :D
Isca 2009-01-22 . chapter 2
"A pride bracelet." Short, simple writing, and yet I love how much it conveys to the reader about the speaker's life! Keep up the good work! :)
tangerine dreamer. 2009-01-22 . chapter 5
i absolutely love these. the one that sticks out to me the most is the escort one. i love the last line, "my dignity: well, i need to keep it somewhere..."

i'm glad you continued this. keep up the great work!
rust phoenix 2009-01-21 . chapter 5
I'm glad you continued. I love how your narrators have such a variety of voices. This one and the first one are probably my favorites, but I liked them all.

Also: you have amazing skill at titling the pieces. I'm not as sure about the collection title - it's good, but it doesn't have the same originality.
softersin 2009-01-21 . chapter 1
wow.
this spoke to me.

definietley subscribing!
Flies 2009-01-20 . chapter 1
Phew, I haven't been here in a long time, but I was sure glad to read this, it was wonderful! I like the concept, and the execution was very well done. I really felt you achieved a purpose with this piece, and I do hope to see more of this sort of style and manner in the future.
tangerine dreamer. 2009-01-20 . chapter 1
i love the way you've written this. it's so interesting and descriptive, and yet somehow personal. i could see you making a series out of this if you keep writing in this style.

keep it up!
Isca 2009-01-20 . chapter 1
This is incredibly creative! It's philosophical, and that's saying a lot since the topic is the inside of a bag. You should definitely continue this!

"I'd like to document your existence." PHENOMENAL! :D :D :D
Xerophyte 2009-01-20 . chapter 1
I like the beginning of this poem a lot, but where it really hits me is the line "to let myself in when you ask me back." From then on, this poem goes from excellent to brilliant. I love the last line, especially. Beautiful work. I cannot think of anything for a critique.
JackInk. 2009-01-20 . chapter 1
That was very nice, it sounded great. However grammatically, it should be changed. How's this.

10 numbers to names i don’t remember,
and a cell phone from 19 to call them with.

a 50 in a hidden pocket,
and ripped bus passeslong expired.

a disposable camera in case this goes my way:

i’d like to document your existence.

there’s a packet of tissues to wipe the tears for when you say goodbye,
and the key from under your mat to let myself in when you ask me to come back.

a flask of gin to wash your memory from my mind,
and a frayed pink letter to bring it back.

a little broken ipod and piece of my soul,
wrapped neatly in parchment paper.
rust phoenix 2009-01-20 . chapter 1
this is one of your best pieces. i really like the flow, and i can tell the words have a lot of thought put into them, and the meaning comes across strongly. i like the look of it too, all the numbers. it's interesting. i think some of the words starting off lines could be a bit more original - you might want to move words like 'and' or 'a' up to the end of the line before.
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