Love this. A couple things I'd do is put defeat instead of defeatism, but that could just be a personal thing. Another thing I'd do is spell out the time, it just looks a little better. Again, it's a personal thing. But, yeah. Other than that, it's well written. Great job!
Faith

I dunno... the closest I can come to concrit on this is that it somehow feels like you're trying to push this piece a lot farther than it should go. Maybe it needs smoothing out or something, but it didn't leave me with the happy little intrigued glow I usually get from your pieces. I felt like this one was a little forced. I hope it helps somehow, even if it just makes you giggle at my attempts at editing :p

Very moving vignette, your prose rings with hints of verse. :)

"We could all peel outselves to death." MORBID! CHILLING! Wow!