A strange but incomplete read for a Sunday morning. The character description is perfect-so perfect that one really wants to hear more. Mellany is developed through details like her driving and the switch in cigarettes, a type of description that all good writers use: Show me, don't tell me. You have that mastered. You have the elements of back story too: stepfather, nephew. Once again, your use of adjectives is excellent-like with the comparison between their hair. They are driving to a destination = always the start of a good plot. Now it is time to work on plot. IMO, you have characterization mastered. That is harder than plot, but plot requires that you know where a story is going and how it is going to finish. Many writers, including myself once, start by developing some characters and just sit back and see what they do next. I found that this does not work for me. Even the best developed characters, like Megan, run into action roadblocks if you don't have a plot established beforehand in your mind. The technique of developing characters and then just "letting" them do whatever such characters might do worked very well for the French masters of the 19th century: Balzac, Flaubert, Zola. But I think it often fails today and causes good writers like you to stop. And I sense a stop here. It is like in your mind they have reached a sort of apex and can go no farther. This is where writing BEYOND PERSONAL EXPERIENCE comes into play. I know that everyone says "Write about what you know," and you obviously know Megan, Ryan, Mellany. But to complete a story, you may need to embellish their lives with something that is NOT within the range of actual personal experience.

SORRY TO BE SO LONG-WINDED.

This is excellent characterization, and I'm sure you know that. Now it needs a conclusion, a destiny and a plot.

Keep writing!! You are always a pleasure to read.

I like this. :)
I like the tone of voice you've given to your character, how it is assertive, but still rather young. The language is smart, fitting, and I like your characterisation. I, myself, am drawn to Mellany because she seems so charming, and I think it's a nice change to find a main character who isn't perfect, and knows it, because of who her sister is.

I'd like to read more. :]

Keep writing.
x