Interesting...Color and Design, that all leads back to Aya.

Now, if Aya is trying to reinstate the Handmen, what happened that the Handmen are no longer in control?

Pieces are falling into place slightly, but there's still so much missing! Write faster, lol

Interesting. THis story is so full of intrigue that I can never not read it. Only problem is I constantly get lost. So once you finish it, I'm going to go back and read it all over again just to make sure I get every ounce of info that you have placed into this story!

I honestly love the style. The dialogue is so direct and natural. The descriptions are so fluid, it just flows really well. Definitely easy to read, just a tad difficult to fit together. But that's what mystery is, right??

How fascinating. I must wonder, though, if Hireki's view of society is correct (as seems to be implied), or if he might actually be insane. The voice in his head that commands him to make choices regardless of logical consequences does lend itself to the latter theory. Perhaps it is both?

You needn't point out your own symbolism, though, unless you do so subtly. And you did so both by explaining the character's name symbolism and by explaining the meaning of the title, though the latter was somewhat more practical. I cannot help but wonder, is the grass really greener on the other side?

Wow, this story really has me on the edge of my seat. It's bizarre, suspenseful, and difficult to determine anyone's motives or which side they're on!

Great chapter! I like your style of making a middle-aged man your main character (like in that unfinished work of yours "The Deviant"). Most of the main charatacters in the Manga section are teenagers you know.
Hireki's getting a whole lot of torture! I mean going through all that trouble in his teenage years and blocks out one day then waking up to find he's a dad with a freakish son. I wonder how your gonna pull this off. It's great stuff.
My only wonder with this chapter is his state of mind. I mean, does he still think like a teenager or is he wiser now like a thirty-two year old? Or did I miss something? Anyway, please keep this up.

...

I've read your story a while back. In fact, back when it still had no reviews. I have to say I found myself going back to your story over and over. I wanted to review but all I did was go to the next chapter and kept reading because this story just reeled me in. I just didn't know what to say.
Well I've read your past chapters and nothing bad to say(reeled me in I said). My only critique is that your first-person turned into somewhat third person somewhere in the middle. You wanted to describe a happening which was not within Hireki's parameters right? How could he know what was happening then from far away? I'm sorry but this got me confused.

With all that aside, please accept my deepest gratitude for being the first to review my stories. I will treasure it forever...

Yay!! I'm happy you've updated this story. Yet, I continue to be tangled in this mystery. Somehow things are just way to confusing. And it frustrates me because there isn't any more to read and help untangle this mess.

I remember Aya, but I'm completely lost as to who Iris Crawford is. Which chapter was she in?

Update soon!!

I've never read a psychological thriller before checkin this one out..and I must say that it does not dissapoint me in the least. I think using the word "from" would be better than "and" when the lady says:

-having trouble distinguishing what's real and what's on your mind."

But it deosn't really matter, lol!

Besides, I love the thought of a writer doing something like this, plusit looks like you've looked up a couple of things. Did yah knwo the thing on christ being crucified was done to a sun god way before it was done to him? The big thing that got me was if his own religion has been so tainted that even he doesn't even know what it TRULY is.

~SD

Komori...you are going to hate me...but I don't get it.

Well maybe I do. In the first chapter he was with the pshycologist who was Aya. Could he have been Alex when he was with her discussing the realty he lived in? No? The only other guess I can make is that his choice is to pick a realty. Could this be the fake not true one? Is he stuck with it? No I'm probably still wrong? And why did that guy wanna take his heart

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG no friggen way...you have too much talent to be writing on fictionpress with all of these revalations. It's funny that this story isn't that long, the chapters are short and there is only 10 chapters, but yet we know enough about the characters to fell easily betrayed. Of course Destiny wanted him to hold that gun backwards if this was what was going to happen

You finally asleep Komori? Can I leave my review now?

It's a pretty short chapter, but once again with a lot of content. Even though the focus is on Aya (btw this girl gets around, she is with her mom, runs away, and is now going to be performing in front of millions and why does she open her eyes now?) I liked the insight on Destiny for some reason, how she has a boyfriend who doesn't leave his room and seems to have a normal life cept she's a theif who has a lot of equipment. I also like how the main character isn't good at shooting a gun. A little detail like this means a lot to me cause I'm sick of flawless bad ass characters, this sets him a part from your usaul 'Neo's' who are unstoppable. Do we ever find out how Destiny is his aunt. On his mom's side or his dad's side. On to the next chapter.

You know what...this is my favorite chapter now. It has nothing to do with the main story about fighting the handmen and such but yet has so much in it. Aya has a sister? And did Allison kill herself because she was truly lonely, I ask this because usaully people would cheat and find happiness somewhere else and Aya's father called himself. Does she make people realize the worse? Sorry that my reviews are getting shorter and shorter :p but I wanna read the next chapter already.

This is actaully one of my favorite chapters probably so far. You find out about the man character's childhood, as well as that of the dectives who is similar. Though the only thing they have in common is that they haven't manipulated by the handmen. Do the handmen have a logo? Just a random question -_-' I picture a hammer.

Anyway the things I really like is just the detail of the house and how the dective was able to tell that someone had been there, though he almost didn't have to analyze that much because a car in a driveway is always a big clue. I also really liked the heartbeat thing.

Now time for analyzing a sentence:

I walked into the kitchen and stood behind the wall, so I could hear the conversation. I tried to put the small box into my right pants' pocket, but I remembered that it was already occupied by Destiny's gun... I put the box into my other pocket and sighed.

This sentence has nothing to do with the actaully telling of the story, but I really like it because it's something I as a writer lack which is detail like this. Reminding us why Destiny is corrupting and reminding us that it is there for when he points it at the dective rather than just pulling it out of nowhere.

Good chapter.

K right away what I loved about this chapter was the suspense. That up for your obession with detectives and white people names >

Unlike most of the stories in the Manga section, this one deserves the most praise in my opinion.

Out of all the half-assed, mistake written, cliche stories written here this has to be the most original I've seen so far. Your writing kept me wanting more, with each chapter I grew with anticipation. I love it! And hopefully you'll continue.

YAY!! Hireki's alive.

He's been dead for 10 years, what's that about??

Okay, so with you, every little detail matters. My guess is, whoever Alex is is really important.

Really looking forward to what happens. How many books do you plan on making??