Beautiful , there are spanish words not conmonly used in puerto rico. Excellent story

that was lovely - i love the different characters of the rainforest creatures.

one thing i would change would be repeating teh translation - the first time is great, but the second time i don't think its necessary, e.g. with maiden of the rainforest . with " pequeños y grandes; agudos y lerdos – big ones and small ones; sharp ones and dull ones" its sort of a narrative element, so that worked for me coz its repeated teh magical three times :)

Herro there. Glad to review you once again albeit it's been uber long since then. :S Well, I do see that you did a good job in the story telling here. The whole portrayal really seems like something a story teller will recount in an inn to excited children. And am I seeing a mixture of Spanish and English words here? Anyway, for some weird reason, this story comes across to me as more of a Native American feel than anything albeit I believe it's not your intent. I also like the way Salina spared the Salamander. It really brings back the memories of 1st Samuel. Read the Bible and you will know the moment as David letting Saul off. Not once but twice mind you. I really applaud that dude's courage and mercy. Anyway, I think I will need one more review to pull even your current review quota. Eh I think I will try to review one more work of yours. ;)

I really like how you mixed a lot of Spanish words into the story - not only did they add an exotic affect to the piece but they also taught me a couple of words that I'm going to remember :p

You also did well with the prose itself. The concise way that you structured most of your sentences lends itself well to telling fables. You left out all of the extraneous details without making it seem bare at all.

Good one :D

-Randwulf

And... I love it.

You said that the story is based off of a traditional Puerto Rican tale? Do you know if there are any English translations of the originals? I collect fairy tales, folktales, and mythology from around the world, and for some reason any and all fairy tales from any Spanish speaking countries are completely impossible to find.

Well, it was a wonderful story, I don't really have much to say other than the fact that the Spanish words and quotations really added to the whole feel of the piece. Very delightful to read. Thank you.

RFYS

Pterodactyl

I have fallen in love with this. You've used spanish (it's spanish, right?) so fluently in this prose that it seems as one withe English. I wish I could write like that.

“To the north,” Coqui reluctantly replied. (Why reluctantly? If he's reluctant to leave his home, show it)

Hehe, I like that "it sparkles, yet it mocks". That was good. I think that you could also but the idea "all that glitters is not gold" in here somewhere.

Just out of curiousity, what animal is Coqui? I don't think I saw what he was.

I see that you're going to make up more tales, please do! I would love to read more about Salina (such a beatiful name)!

Narq.

This was very interesting. I've heard a similar story (similar only in that it explained the origin of Fool's Gold), so it was great to hear another perspective on that. Also, I absolutely loved the language transitions. It's nice to be able to practice my Spanish. I'm so rusty lol. Great job! :)

This was a great story! I liked your use of Spanish(?). At least I think it was Spanish, I understood most of it.

It was just cute, haha, I cannot even critique it!

So bravo! I hope you write more!

M.H.

This was a good story. It would be a great childrens book and i love how it's bilingual. A for that. :)

keep writing...:)