...brilliant.
The repetition, the bluntness, the structure.
It's perfect. It describes everything so well.
This is probably the best portrayal of denial
I have read about on this site.

This is your prize review for the May Review Marathon! Congratulations. :)

At first, I didn't like your block, single-spaced stanza. But when I finished, I really liked the ramble type of format you used for the theme. It was very fitting. :)

All right, your word choices stick out the most. I loved them best out of the poem because of the wonderful imagery they added: "the sputtering carcass of happiness" "the bloody stained glass window" "the way the dust dances" "if my mouth crumbles dry" "my cracked, rotting smile" "the miasma of fear" "the churning raw heart of denial." The descriptions in the words you chose are so vivid and unique, and they really made this poem something special. I couldn't have stopped reading it if I had wanted to. Which I didn't. :D (And I loved "trembling sorrow" in the summary; gorgeous.)

The repetition in the beginning is an interesting contrast to the latter half of the poem. It didn't have much alliteration or any of the descriptions that were in the ending. The beginning mainly focused on variations of "i don't care if you don't care about me". And while I liked the repetition's obvious contradiction (the bitterness in it was such a nice touch), the beginning did seem less organized. I think it was the line arrangement that made it seem less clean and not quite as poetic as the end.

I love this poem. Very nice work! xD
-Peach/Kate

I like your use of punctuation and line breaks. They worked well to create a very interesting flow. The repetition worked well too.

Your descriptions here area also really powerful. Ie. "bloody stained glass window," "my mouth crumbles dry" and "my cracked, rotting smile" They were really interesting descriptions.

The word "miasma" was also a really great choice, very unique. Really nice piece.

PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or the Review Marathon (link in my profile)!

your emotions are so vivid here, it almost hurts. beautifully written as per usual - i love the last about seven lines, they're beautiful.

"I don't care if you don't care about me." Oh, the pain here is so vivid.

"Miasma of fear." Nice word-choice. :)

This was very well-written. I like the repetition of "I don't care" throughout, because it shows how much the speaker really DOES care about everything. The angst, frustration, and pain is expressed very well; it's beautiful! :)