Hey, did you write it in an iambic pentameter? if you did,Lie
"not in reading the works of writers passed,"
and
"Of great hearts, brave and true, of hours steadfast."
won't be good because passed has one feet in it and steadfast has two.

Remember that it must be in a Shakespearean sonnet, the last couplet is not a couplet because it is not 'gg', it is 'gh'

Well, this certainly isn't the best poem in the world, and a lot of people would rather read than write but whatever. It's okay, I'll leave it at that.