This may just be me, but I think I'm obsessed with slash stories. xP Jacob is so adorable with his tough exterior and this kind of like sheepish interior when it comes to Kyle. It's just so adorable.

You say it! :I’m gay and have no problem telling the homophobes to “fuck off.”!

People aren’t sure if they should fear me (because I’m gay) or respect me (because I don’t act gay). (LOL, Irony of life!)

oh my, Shakira mom!

“Do you want anything?” She asks me.

“Kyle,” I reply without thinking. She frowns.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! nice!

“Tomorrow is Monday,” I say to myself, “I’ll get to see Kyle again.” Wow, love sure can make someone wants to go to school! 0_0

Hahaha, I like the part where you showed how people are really limiting their message!

"Actually, I never new my mom, this is my step-mom." Sentences like this make me sad. Adding a comma doesn't mean that the sentence can go on longer than it's meant to. Periods or semicolons are your friends. And since I have that sentence up there, I doubt that he did renew his mom. (Meaning: adding a "k" to that "new" would be neat.)

Your first chapter is mostly in present tense (with a few slip-ups) so might I venture to ask why the second chapter is in past? TIME TRAVEL! AWESOME!

Also. In the first chapter...Jacob says that he doesn't act gay. Last time I checked, I didn't know that there was a specific way to act gay, straight, or whatever. Unless you meant, "The way people see gay men because of the way the media stereotypes." Then that would've made a bit more sense without sounding offensive. However, as it is, it's kind of...weird, like he's all for those stereotypes, when I wouldn't peg him as that kind of person with the way you portray him.

Now excuse me while I go act like a lesbian.

i like it, can't wait for the next chapter (:

><
I already told you this, but I love it!
Hm, maybe I edited too little?
Well, I didn't want to go overboard anyway.
But Ariel is fine!!

Well. Um. It's cute, I'll give you that. However I have a problem with some of it. Even if it's just how Jacob acts, saying he 'doesn't act gay', and having him yell "Why don't you leave me and my kind alone?" is REALLY pushing it when it comes to, y'know, not stereotyping gay people.

Most gay people don't say 'my kind' when referring to other gay people. Of course there isn't even really a clear reason WHY he got into a fight with that biker in the first place, so the fact that Jacob is automatically assuming it's because he's gay (which is implied by him saying 'me and my kind') is... seriously WTF worthy. I don't know if you meant Jacob to be ignorant when it comes to this kind of thing, but if you didn't, you might want to reconsider how you characterize him as far as his attitude towards homosexuality goes.

Oh yes, yes, yes!
I love ths so far.
I'm going to be obssessed with this one too, kay? lol.

i like it. update soon

Hai Kai

I liked this, it was funny and shows me that you've really improved your writing while I was AWOL. The things I enjoyed most were Jackie's word limit (who doesn't know someone like that?), Jacob's stepmom's name being Shakira, "fragile as duct tape" and Jacob replying Kyle when Shakira asks him if he wants anything.

There are still some bits in there you need to fix, though. Like at the beginning, you put in way too many commas. Also, you'd say 'to' when you should have said 'too'. Y'know, little stuff like that. Otherwise, grammar and spelling were good for first person narration.

Good story, I'll be watching (I'M WATCHING YOU o_O)