I am a bit confused. Maybe if you added some more to each chapter && made them a fraction more detailed, it would be easier to comprehend, seeing as our letle brains are functioning at different paces. Anyway, kudos, doll!

- strobeXlightXstatic

Hmm... interesting... I like it! The narrator seems a little devious- I like them.

P.S- is it male or female? That is the question (lol)

Wow, great way to end this chapter! You really create good suspense! Awsome!

whos point of view is this story from?

OH! It's getting exciting!

UPDATE SOON PLEASE!

:)

I'LL BE A READER! PICK ME! PICK ME! PICKMEPICKMEPICKME- -ahem- sorry. well, anyway, overall, this story is rather interesting. A few spelling && grammatical errors here && there, but rather charming. (ugh, I sound like my mom.)

...can you tell I've had caffeine?

- strobeXlightXstatic

You know it's a pretty good first draft. I think to improve it I would introduce the narrator; you use "I" so tell us who is "I" or do we not find out untill the next chapter? The idea of the three monarchs is good- overall I really liked it!