Loved this story sorry your not going to be writing it for awhile but I'll go read your other books (Ps if you don't hear from me anymore that'll just mean I'll have put you in my favourites) :-)

^.^ This is quite interesting so far...I hope you'll update soon. It's caught my interest.

Thanks for writing!

I really like your story so far. It's very unique. What her father did was not so terrible, it allowed both himself and his daughter to live, what would she have done without a father? Although I'm sure he could have thought to offer something else or at least prentended to care about the death of his wife. He does seem really self-centred and cold. When you mentioned that her hair was the colour of hematite did you mean black? Hematite comes in a few different colours including grey.
Please update again soon - I can't wait to find out how your story progresses.

Okay, commands can bi italisized. Just say something like "I told her to do with my mind" or "I commanded" her or something like that. The long lyrics and just be italisized too because thats how song lyrics are. an excerpt from a book is typically in the same format you'd just have a double space between the excerpt, unless it's a small quote, in which case you would put the quote in quotes and then: "here is your quote" (author's last name, title, page #).
Does that make sense?
Also, memories are ALWAYS italisized, unless its the driving point of the story, like in phantom of the opera (movie). The whole thing is a flashback, so you'd just say something like "April, 1809" or something like that. However, in this story you'd just have to italisize that.
And don't worry, I'm not this magical being that knew all this stuff. It's just as you write and read, you gather more info on gramatical stuff, and I've had lots of experience.
But I really do like the description of it all, the uniqueness of your characters and the story in general. Great job!!

Okay, I've noticed that you have some serious editing to do. it's wooden, not wodden, and mahogany was spelt correctly (you don't need to interupt the flow of the story for you to ask your questions that you should be asking your beta).
Exlamation marks make your writing seem childish. It's hard to believe at first, but to a reader, it really does. And the laughing a lot part, well that commentary is completely unnecessary. It's part of his character and understandable.
Raisa doesn't seem completely and entirely developed now that we've seen more in her, either that or you're having problems switching from character pov to pov. Also, Nikolai seems to be growing down with every chapter. The firt chapter he seemed so mature, and now he seems like an immature child. Just figure out who you want him to be, and work on perfecting that bit.
However, I do love the curiousity of Raisa in the beginning, how lost she was when she woke, but was she really naked under the sheet? Or were you just not sharing the fact that she was wearing pajamas, and emfacizing the fact that she only had a sheet
Wonderful writing ideas, and I can't wait to see how your writing matures with experience.

she may be right about him fooling her father...

im glad he is giving her space...will he woo her or will she be stubborn...

I like it so far!

Can't wait to read more! :]

Hi,
Your story is awesome! I love the whole concept of it and absolutely cannot wait to see what happens. Already I really like Raisa's character and want to see more about her and her history. I'm not sure about Nikolai but am certainly interested in him and what he wants with Raisa. By the way, Raisa is such a gorgeous name and very unique! Also I'm very curious about what Raisa's father did that caused him to owe a debt to Nikolai.
Just one tiny suggestion. I'd really like it if you gave more desqription, like on how Raisa and Nikolai look. Other then that, your story is perfect in every way and I can't wait for the next update!
What an incredible story! Please update with another chapter very soon!
-Snowy Murder

I'm liking this story. Keep writing!

awesome story so far!! luved it! hmm... i wonder wat was his fathers debt? russian! i cant speak it but ill try 2 read it rite haha!
hope u update soon!
good luck writing!
~BlackRose1991

i do hope you continue...

cant wait to see her reaction when she wakes up!

Absolutly wonderful writing!! I love how easily you seem to be able to change point of views! It's completely flawless and already they seem to be completely developed. You've either put your heart and soul into this story, or your writing is truly marvelous.
Also, I wonder why you picked 10:37...Will is have a serious impact on the rest of the story? Or was it a random time you chose?
The first chapters, like all should, really drag the reader in, and I can assure you that I am not happy that I have to wait for the next chapter! I hope that it comes soon!
Again, wonderful writing, and can't wait for the next chapter!!
-Lizza (my wonderful penname)