This was so cute and fun to read.

I like how you're putting a modern twist on the Fisherman's tale! I like too that you're using humour in this! lol the line "You are not the quickest of mind, are you?’" cracked me up :)

Found a few typos:
"scuttling two and fro"
"with gritted his teeth"

Good job :)
s

about Sarah being a lazy-**, maybe you should say that in the first chap? because u made it sound like they were both hard-working. (at least that's how i felt).

anyway, i'm really interested in reading the next chap. i wonder what Rob's next wish will be. maybe change Sarah into someone that's less greedy and easy to deal with? lol that would solve most of his problems.

and i have actually never read the Grimms' tale, at least not this one. so i've got nothing to compare it with lol

good job. i didn't really notice any mistakes.

lol! i really enjoyed how creative your story is. I mean a talking lobster, especially one that talks so regally and with a 'you'll never understand it, boy' kind of tone. I found it quite amusing watching the interaction between rob and the lobster - very much like a grown-up talking down to a child although rob seems to be an adult already.

i mean i know fairy tales are meant to be exactly that but...i'm just thinking that if the lobster is so...powerful? then why did he need rob to set him free? haha anyway...

okay so one thing that kind of distracted me from the story was the way you portrayed how rob and his girlfriend were trying to save money. The phrasing in that paragraph felt a little awkward and stilted for me and i think there were commas where they weren't necessary?

e.g. 'damp stained, mould ridden, flat Rob lived' should be 'damp, stained, mould ridden flat Rob lived'

but all in all =) very funny...i couldn't really find anything so i was being picky =.=

happy writing!

reminds me of those story books i used to read when i was younger, makes me feel nostalgic. a genie granting wishes, only it's a lobster. XD

"He had never lived anywhere else, to be truthful, neither had his parents, or his grandparents, but it was a fair guess that nowhere else in the country could be as bad as the damp stained, mould ridden, flat Rob lived in with his girlfriend."

This was really interesting. I like how you took the idea of the fisherman story and changed it into a lobster, lol. This is a very good piece- well, what's written of it so far. What was the most interesting was the lobster, hands down. The way that you displayed its character and idea was really nice.

C.S.

Characterisation:
I really really love the way you've developed the character of the lobster. It sounds strange, but it was very believable for me to read about a talking lobster...thing. Haha :)
I also thought that the character of Rob was well-written, although to me he seemed quite simple. But still, great work on the characterisation there. I think that because he was pretty simple, he was also easy to relate to. And easy to giggle at ;p
I felt that the 'aging American' could do with more development character-wise. All he does is pick out the lobster - maybe you could include a sentence or two about his reaction to all the commotion?

Opening:
I felt that the opening couple of sentences were too long. I think that if you used less commas, it would improve the beginning and make the reader want to read more. I like the typical 'Once upon a time' start, though, even if it is cliched ;)
I also like the way you introduced the main character immediately. It sets the tone/scene well too.

Relationships:
I like your portrayal of the relationship between Rob and his boss. I think it was fairly accurate in a description of a waiter/boss relationship, haha. It also added (more) humour to the story, which is always a plus :)
The relationship between Rob and the lobster was brilliantly written :P I love the impatience of the lobster coupled with Rob's uncertainty at the end.

Writing:
I felt that some of the descriptions used here really stood out. For example, "peering into his face with its stalked black eyes." worked for me because of the great imagery it provoked. Also, the description of the flat was good too. (Though there was a grammatical error, I think... "country could be as bad as the damp stained, mould ridden, flat Rob lived in with his girlfriend." It doesn't need a comma after 'ridden').

Dialogue:
I think that the best dialogue by far in this is the lobster's. It just seems to fit his character so well, and the way you introduced its 'rough, raspy little voice' was brilliant! I could almost hear the lobster's voice becoming clearer and stronger in my mind.
The boss' dialogue is also very fitting for his character. The way he's not really concerned about Rob's health, just the welfare of his customers, comes across really well with the vocabulary and tone that you've used.
All in all, you have nothing to worry about with the dialogue. It all flowed really well with the rest of the text.

Other:
At first I was sceptical about this story, because of the fairytale aspect of it (and also the first paragraph put me off slightly, haha). But as I read on, I found myself really enjoying it. Great job, keep writing :)

-Amy.

To be honest, your style of writing isn't one I usually gravitate towards. I find that these timeless revamps usually leave the original tale a little dry, but you have a very fluid way of joining your ideas together. Like fop huntress said, your word choice is extremely wise.

Pleasantly surprised, I think would be the best way I can explain my current reaction. I like this a lot. Favourited.

The syntax and diction are smooth and the descriptions are great, but you want to work on the dialogue, it's a bit choppy and forced.

Ooh, I love these "fairytale spin-off" things, or re-write or whatever. The fact that it's a freaking lobster out of all things cracks me up.

I do suggest you use quotation marks when someone's speaking instead of apostrophes(sp?).

Geez...even if he was just hallucinating, nothing bad can come from just wishing...he shouldn't have hesitated so much.

Why would he want it to be his LAST encounter?! Stupid boy-it's a wish-granting lobster, don't you wantit to grant you more wishes?!

Good job though. Very well done.

I've never read the original fisherman's tale, so I don't know how much was from the story and how much you changed, but I really liked what I saw. The title definately caught my eye - I didn't know what to expect going into it, and that was one thing I liked about it. I also loved the way you described things; I can just see the lobster "clicking its joints in irritation." The description of the lobster laughing was also very good. I'm adding this to my Alert list, so update soon!