that was freaking breathtaking!

fuck...

damn! this is great! i can imagine every line u wrotegreat choice of words! and then these short lines, make this piece very sexy, indeed! a very sexy poem, i would say! nice one!

Something sad about this one, though I don't know if you meant it that way. I like the last stanza, though it's spelled "gauging." Something naive about it, oddly. :) I like that contradiction.

Jules

This is great. Funny without actually being lewd, and still manages to be more than sexual.

I like how the narrorator is the powerful one in this.

"my hunger for you is

furious and unapologetic"

I like those lines. They really clarify the feeling in this.

i like this because you are not the submissive one, which could be expected with the act.

Very good poem. Please read and review my stuff. I am new.

The way in which you write erotic poems is like a artform. I love your blunt style, that's somehow beautiful instead of crass and the teasing nature of the line breaks. Great job and take care.

Ooh, nice. I am a fan of erotic poetry, I am. Well, erotic writing in general. And this works so well, both because of the language you used and the form it's in - the short lines and stanzas create this feeling of urgency and suspense, like you're teasing us just with the form. I've written erotic poetry and used this kind of form, too (at least with the short lines). So I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. Fabulous. Keep writing! :)

Very nice. Though, I do agree with East-Of-Eden that it should be given a higher mature level. Other than that, great job.

this is really erotic and good. i would just give it a higher mature level.

You've got a way about...writing things so that they are sexual but not actually dirty seeming in the least and you seem to make things so poetic and well written all at the same time. I really admire that and I wish I could do it. You're really good at this.

You write about blowjobs so much better then I ever could.

-C.K.