 CanadianCookie 2009-02-11 . chapter 1Hehehe, good job on your first story! Speaking of firsts, this is my first time reading shoujo-ai. One mistake;
"Without a second thought Ichiko looked at the clock. which read about twenty-five minutes until seven."
sounds awkward. Either you change the period into a comma or you reformat the sentences. Meh, it's probably a typo! ^^ |