I think your writing is absolutely amazing. =)I've read through this whole story in a couple of hours. I didn't even stop! I have to admit, I think I'm falling in love with Marcianus. I think he's just as amazing as this story. And Ardea and Simus are great as well. I really enjoyed reading this. :D

-NJQ

Jabali has SERIOUS balls. After seeing what Karju did to Eber, and knowing that a misstep will make him strangle her, still she has the audacity to talk back to him when he visits her? and even after he threatens her? wow. man.

y'know, if I were her I would cut up my face so I would be ugly. it would hurt but it would be worth it. and if I were a mother who had a beautiful daughter, I would cut up her face before she got old enough to attract people. I don't like Jabali's mother because she's weak, and she doesn't seem to give a rat's ** what happens to her. my mom read about this woman in austria who was forced into sex slavery by her father and kept in a basement dungeon for twenty years. during that time she had five children, two of whom the father took away, three of whom she raised in the dungeon. and she took care of those kids, and when her daughter began dying from being raised in a dungeon, she begged the father to let her go to the hospital. he agreed, so long as she didn't tell anyone what he had done; but as soon as he was out of the room, she told the whole story and got her family rescued. she protected those children. she was strong. Jabali's mother is not like this woman.

what was I gonna say. oh, yes, I like the thing about Karju feeding on fear and Jabali trying to starve him.

it's strange how they call themselves by hog names - sows, gilts, boars, sounders. what is a sounder, anyways? or a gilt? occasionally it gets disorienting. ...I'm guessing the horses must call each other mares and stallions and colts and fillys, eh? but what of the snakes and the birds? chicks and **? XD

anyhow. yes. and also how Karju's not even shoving her that much, but he's so carelessly strong that every time he pushes her even a little, she bangs into something and gets hurt. it shows how formidable he is.

anyhow.

yes.

good job. painful, but good job. I hate that man.

nope, can't get through it. I got to them bringing out the poker and I couldn't bring myself to read farther. Morbid curiosity will bring me back, but not tonight.

o_o

Lmao I love Kardju. He is truly evil. I wonder what would happen if he met Naja? Hehehe...

This is really good!

I may go back and review each chapter later. But I've read up to this point and not once has it become boring or lost my interest. I keep having to come back to it because I'm so intrigued as to what is going to happen next!


I can't wait for Jabali and Cal to find out who each other REALLY are, because they're falling for each other ^^

Once again I love this story and I think it's amazing how you've created the world and entwined each of the four character's lives...well done! :D

This is my favourite chapter so far! I can't wait to see how each of the characters meet. I think you've done a great job with characterisation! And making the split between the different kingdoms clear, I think the way you've done EVERYTHING is fantastic!


-Praise over-

I've only just read this chapter now and I think it is amazing, that's really the only word I can use to describe it. I'm not good at reviewing, so I'll just say that I really like this story and can't wait to read more!

Wow, I feel terrible for Jabali. Life just seems to suck for her. I really hope she and Cal and the rest of the tribe can get away, and I hope she doesn't decide to run off or something... but on another note, I really just wish I could jump into this story and steal Cal. My god, I need to find a guy like that. And one like Marcianus too. Yum. As for my favorite character, those two are definitely my favorites. Ardea... eh. She's improving I suppose. But she just can't stand up against the sweet Cal and sexy Marcianus, haha! Wow I love this story. Great chapter!

I swear this chapter had me smiling the whole time. Cal and Jabali are just too adorable! Don't worry about the "nauseating romance". I really love it, and think we need more of it in the world, hehe. And I really wasn't expecting Egretta at the end there... boy is she going to be surprised. Good job! :)

Oh I like Sirtalis. Ardea seems to like him too, so that gets me wondering...hehe. Anyway, I hope to see him more of him. This was a nice chapter, good job :)

After this, I think I take that part about liking Egretta back. I guess I don't dislike her since she at least wants to save Ardea, but I feel bad for how rudely she treated Sitta. Anyway, I hope Parus and Egretta don't get hurt, although I'll be interested to see their reactions when they realize it's not really Ardea with the Equus... I'm off to read more! :)

... Hey, remember me? Heh, I'm still alive, and finally back to review once again! First of all, I'd like to say sorry for kind of disappearing and not reviewing for so long. School just got in the way, and I got too caught up with finals, APs, clubs, blah blah, so I didn't have any time to read or write anything. And then I told myself I was going to start reading this again in the summer, but I had vacation and by the time I got back I realized I had over thirty chapters to catch up on (I think I left off at about chapter 34), so I decided to wait until I had a day where I could just sit at my computer and read this all day, and today is that day! Yay! Anyway, sorry for my rambling, I just wanted to let you know that I haven't given up on this story and I do intend to read (and review it) till the end.

As for comments about the story, I don't even know where to begin. Oh, I know! First and foremost, I really hate Karju, and he is officially at the top of my most hated villians list :D Ugh, he just makes me sick. But I do like Eoforwin. I can't help but hope that he somehow manages to overthrow Karju or something, even though it might not be likely, but it would be really cool anyway. And I'm surprised to hear myself saying that I actually think I like Egretta. I started to groan when I was beginning to read her chapter, but I was really impressed by how smart she was when she made herself throw-up that stuff the witch fed her. I think it’s so nice that she's going back for Cristatella. If it were me, I don't know if I'd be that kind...heh.

The actual writing is good too. I did catch a couple minor spelling mistakes in some of the earlier chapters I read, but I was too into the story to really take note of them. This is getting so intense now, and I can't wait to see what you have in store for the next 20 or so chapters I have to read! You can definitely expect more reviews from me later on. I can’t wait to continue reading!! :D

I've got to say, I'm impressed. So far you've present 4 intriguing culture and at least 4 characters with unique personalities and some very interesting potential for plot developement. I like it.

Hey, 'd you know Paard was dutch for 'horse'? Well, you probably did, else you wouldn't have chosen that name XD