First, let me congratulate you on that last sentence. It was truly beautiful and very poetic, exactly the kind of things I'm known to write. Ah, it's such a beauty!

And about the mailshirt, here's two tips about how you can take one off on your own: Take a position like a stretching cat, and make small jumps and shakes, it should fall off. Two: Take it off like you would a dress. I personally think nr. one would be easier, but I've no experience in such things, my brother told and showed me.

Again, there seemed to be lacking some bonding between Tijs and Shalhara. You know, some musings on their realtionship or something. I have this feeling they're just on the edge of getting somewhere, but are stuck for reasons unknown.

Again, I would really like it if you could delve a little deeper into Galinda's past, actually it seems like it could be a good side-story for this one, a kind of prequel or something? And it seems a little suspect that she hasn't aged, although I can't find it in my heart to distrust her fully. Is she a different kind of species or whatnot?

Till we talk next, live well and be healthy.

Sorry for taking a big break in reviewing, just wanted to read something else, and then I had a cousin getting babtized and forgot all about it for a while... And then read something else for a long while... Sorry ^_^'

The only thing I really have to point out, is that you used the word "hezrou" too early in the text. Neither Tijs nor Shalhara knew what it was, or they would have said it. The hezrou just went from "thing/it/demon" to "hezrou" without anyone being told what it was! It's a mistake often made (like most musicians make a mistake when they have to play the same tone often in a row), so it's no biggie, but it's a mistake nonetheless.

I'm a little surprised that Tijs and Shalhara still had anything left to retch, much less uncontrollably. There was, by the way, disappointingly little action from the two this chapter, althoug I suppose not every chapter can have them in the center, and I really liked the scene at the barrier, very sweet.

And I'm really curios what kind of relationship this tall druid has to Galinda! On to the next chapter!

Till we talk next, live well and be healthy.

Oh... Oh Gods... Shalhara better explain something to Tijs soon enough! Such as her being a half-breed and that she honestly prefers wearing her disguise. That could probably create a very sugar-sweet moment.

Although Shalhara's not going to be any fonder of horses from now on...

I have to say that you made one fine description on that demon, I felt very sick. I thought for a moment I had to say goodbye to my dinner (Picture waving goodbye to your dinner... While it still looks edible).

I'm a little puzzled about something, you mention that Tijs is faster than Shalhara, which instantly ruins the picture of the classical elf (I know that you want and have to be original) which is otherwise formed by the long-life-thing. I will guess arrogance is still a common elven trait, from the describtion of Shalhara's behaviour, although she's probably far from as bad as some humans and other elves.

Till we talk next, live well and be healthy
R0.

Oh! Learning swordplay, are we? Lucky kids.

The envy between them is interesting, to say the least. Envy is a powerful, overpowering, hideous emotion, but it creates ambition. And ambition can lead to great things or ones demise.

"Those who live by the sword, often die by the sword." Good idea to insert that qoute (I thought of it the moment I read the title). I'm a little surprised we didn't have any side-characters this chapter, maybe the next one? I'm also a little disappointed there was so little attention to the connection between the younglings, especially since my guess is that they will end up a couple. I'm rooting for them here! They better not disappoint.

Ouch, seems like I missed out on a lot of updates. Sorry about that. I'll just have to review each chapter I missed.

So we meet Sule'Rina again, hm? Well, she is a very interestig character, much kindness wrapped in regal attitude. She's a good person.

The Nentyarch... Interesting title, although I'm not quite sure how to pronounce it. I'm not quite sure I trust him yet, I'll give him a chance or two more. Perhaps you should elaborate a litte more on the age of elves, you made it pretty obvious that he's above a few hundred years, and also that he's got quite a few more coming.

Ah, and Galinda wants to send the younglins home? Oh, they're not gonna like that! Tijs needs money and Shalhara needs a ride... Although she should have stayed home. Oh well, I would have missed half of a great story if she had done as she was told.

Ah, enough for now, see you next chapter.

Till we talk next, live well and be healthy
R0.

Good chapter, the development of Tijs is really coming along nicely, and from the short spurts of Jenner I see he's shaping up to be pretty interesting. Also I like how you have a few plot developments moving along in the background. They are a few word changes that would make the dialogue flow smoother, but that's just me nitpicking. All around good effort.

These two are quite the trouble magnet! And I love it!

It was an amazing fight scene. The goblins were a good way to warm up the ambiance, and it served to show something very important: one, monsters with nothing to lose are the most dangerous thing; and two, not all creatures from the same race are equal - you defeated one, and that doesn't mean you can do it again.

The demon was superb, simply superb. I could almost feel its evil aura flowing off the computer! The scene was so built up that I could see it stepping ominously out of the underbushes and appreacite its horrendous body.

And I could defenitely feel the hopelesness against such odds, the slim chances of survival a couple of kids in their second real battle, their first one with any training, would have presented.

Actually, I was actually surprised when Tijs managed to dispatch it so soon. I thought, 'whoa. It.. worked!'

M, more things... Good handling the psionics, again - the way Shalhara is managing to control her powers even without a crystal is amazing and very well portrayed- and also, good job showing us that the kids are different from one another: they talents clearly do *not* lie in the same fields, and seeing the different speeds they are progressing at is great.

And, how can we forget the small revelation at the end! The cat is out of the box! And what a dramatic moment for her disguise to fall, to!!

I loved it. And I bet that when Tijs gets over the shock, he'll have lots of questions and thoughts on the matter, uh?

To end this devilishly long review:

Oh, yes. Galinda is *so* going to pull their ears...

Nice start, they were a few grammar and spelling mistakes but again they were few, and a few things could use a little more explanation but this is the prologue so it's not really needed. This is a really good start though and is very interesting.

Good, good... The kids are learning how to hold a sword, uh? Probably the best choice for them.

The whole learning thing, and the link between the characters as they improve their martial prowess, is masterfully done. Perhaps I missed a bit of seeing how Shalhara's sparring lessons went, but it was most illustrating when you said that she moved back to do drills as Tijs kept on working his countering.

There's this one thing that really surprised me, though: Galinda's adamant opinion about them not learning how to fight, or at least not how to kill. I'd think that she's not raised to believe in sheltered lives...

It was a superb chapter in any case, and I love the final detail about the two kids finally giving in to their need to compete and be the best - and oh yeah, trouble *would* find them, wouldn't it?

I look forward to see just what those guys are going to do!

Hello! This chapter brought us back to 'the greater scope of things', and I think it was a good choice. As a matter of fact, for a moment there I couldn't recognize Shalhara's mother and it took me some thinking!

Still, it was a most interesting scene, the court of the Nentyarch and the audience. And our driad makes another appearance, as well... you know, this druid leader is giving me mixed feelings. As in, I'm really wondering whether he's going to be a good guy or a selfish guy.

And was Patrizia really healed? I think she's going to be the most important character out of all of Tijs' family. And talking about Tijs, now that the driad knows he is standing in the path of war, what's that going to change? Because I got this feeling that it *is* going to change something...

All in all, great chapter!

Yikes! Great action. Also, it's cool to see how Shalhara's psychic skills can be dangerous for her when she can't block Tijs's pain. Also, is she healing his wounds or is she just relieving the pain? Anyway, this was fun. Can't wait to see what other trouble they'll get into!

Very, very good. Tijs is a very interesting character, although he does remind me a lot of Jet from Avatar. Your grammar is very good, very little to nothing to complain about.

You might want to elaborate more on the side-characters feelings and background. Galinda, for exampel, is a very interesting character, who I would like to hear more about. I would also like to get an even closer look at Shalhara (a very elvish sounding name, by the way), as she is obviously torn by her two diferent heritages (a subject I never grow tired of) and how Tijs would react to find out who she really is (he would probably take it really well, considering the kind of person he is), and also on these powers she has, how exactly do they work?

A last good advice, is to be very careful about how many different languages you create, it can be very hard to control all those languages, unless you are gifted with an ear for it.

Till we talk next, live well and be healthy
R0/LotWF.

Oh, I love it so much! This is turning out so wonderfully! I'm really enjoying learning more about Shalhara's background and powers (and Galinda's abilities, too, for that matter.) Very interesting tension!

Yes! Great chapter. We're far enough along in the story to need a recap of the story's opening chapter, but not so far into things that it feels out of the blue. Also, as someone who isn't familiar with this universe, I could still follow all the info that was introduced in this chapter. Great job with context, etc. I really liked learning more about Shalhara and her background and goals! Another awesome chapter.

Everything's coming together perfectly, what can I say? I still love the image of Patrizia gazing into the forest as Tijs rides away. Did not mean for that to rhyme, sorry!