I like the way this poem is quite blunt, to the point, it doesn't circle around what it's trying to say and this makes it a more interesting read. The rhythm is excellent, its a great song, (I sang it) And it flows very very well. I love the topic too, its a very true piece of work and poetry that is truthful is always the best. I can honestly say this is one of my favorite pieces i have read on this site. :)

so i looked over your profile and saw that you preferred something more than empty flattery. i hope you won't be too angry with me for giving you just that. really, i have no suggestions for you. i feel like this is a very personal piece to you (and if it's not, then you portrayed the emotions very well) well done.