|Reviews for Love is the potion Pain is the poison|
| haley 3/27/09 . chapter 1
soo sad and yet so true :(
| TwilightLover 3/14/09 . chapter 1
you are very good at writing poems!
| calmthestorm 3/4/09 . chapter 1
holy shit! this is soo good! So completely true, you have an amazing way of describing exactly what i feel!
| Voronwe 2/26/09 . chapter 1
Your emotion is the strongest element of this poem. Everyone has been where you are, and you convey your words admirably (despite your profile's claim that the opposite is true).
About the content - unfortuantely you are treading in very cliched waters. Cliches, of course, are cliches for a reason - they are very easy to justify (love as a potion/poison, hearts having wings, ect.) and always look like a good idea (all poets are guilty). Now, you may disregard this, which is totally fine - I just think you're an experienced enough writer (having read your other poems) to deserve this criticism. I'd like to see this poem move beyond what it is now - the rhetorical questions, the editorialising, and the cliches.
I'd like to suggest something. You don't have to do it, but it might help bring this poem into focus: go through your work, and any time you directly state an emotion, or say something to someone (as you do several times in this poem), try to create an image conveying it. It can be a scene, a gesture, an object - anything you want. Give it a shot, and if you come up with anything you want looked at feel free to drop me a line, I do that Beta Reader stuff for anyone who wishes.
Enjoyed the read,
| kloun mannequin 2/26/09 . chapter 1
I like this description about love and its parts, great poem.