I love this line: "upon the gentle lips of sunset". I would like this to be longer, but I liked it nontheless.

The punctuation bothered me here. You have one period. There are many other sentences in the piece though. I would just get rid of the one period. Also, I felt like disappear needed a comma after it unless I'm reading that last line wrong.

Anyway, I liked the piece a lot. Sadness combined with oceans is done a lot, but none of these images seemed cliched. It was also a really great blend of emotions. Sadness with fond memories and maybe a tad of hopelessness. Great job.

PS I know you joined the Review Game, but you should really participate in the Review Marathon this coming weekend. It's tons of fun!

Great poem. I really liked the repetition in the lines "even if my heart breaks/even if you are buried" and thought it was a nice touch. Awesome extended metaphor of something that is here today and gone tomorrow. I think many people can relate to that concept. I also like how you incorporate the natural setting of the ocean and water, usually a symbol of healing and rebirth, and bring out the struggle that comes so often before we can find a place of healing. Beautiful work. Keep wriitng, k.

Using similes is very effective. Good job. I really liked all the descriptive words that you used. Please read and review my stuff.

Beautifully written. Write on and thanks for the kind reviews.

This was interesting, and I really liked the line "those same steps without footprints." Really made me think. Loved it!

Very nice! I especially loved the phrase about the 'scent of memories' and the like. All together I think it comes together perfectly. Poems are more than words - they're feelings and I think you communicated this one perfectly. Excellent work!

(And thanks also for reviewing me - I don't get many hits anymore.)

=)
CL

wow, this is so emotional and beautiful. i love the words you used to convey the feelings and imagery. There are so many great lines in this but one of my favorites is "Upon the gentle lips of sunset" I like the message in this too, that everything comes to an end. At first it seemed like the flow was a little choppy but as a whole this poem is outstanding.

i like how there's a metaphor going on kind of with the ocean and the tears. it's really beautiful. thank you for the review, i haven't heard from you in a really long time. how have you been? it feels like i've lost touch with a lot of ppl from fp.

I just imagined the scene when I read and it's so touching.

i like this =] although i would like to see more punctuation/capital letters etc. but i do love the flow of it. like the line 'those same steps without footprints'. and the last lines. really nice work =]

What a total coward.

Are you blocking me because you fear that I might be right and that what you said might be completely absurd? Well that seems to be the case, doesn't it?

What is ‘ridiculously absurd’ (don’t even get me started on the redundancy of that phrase) is you and what you think makes a good review and what you think is actually going to help fellow writers on this site.

Just because idiots like you who give useless one-liners (which needless to say are completely pathetic excuses for reviews) are abundant on this site does not mean that this SHOULD be the norm.

Don't you read the message at the bottom of the review window?

QUOTE: "A WELL ROUNDED critique is often the most rewarding gift a reader can give . Please use this golden opportunity to offer a WELL DESERVED praise and/or TIPS FOR IMPROVEMENT."

Your so-called 'review' is NOT AT ALL well-rounded. You praise blindly with no justification or reason and you don't offer tips for improvement at all.

QUOTE: "in my reviews usuallytend to find and express the best in a person's work, a little encouragement."

Don't even get me started on the absurdity of that statement and, by that, I'm not talking about the fact that you don't capitalise your alphabets when they need to be capitalised (which is certainly horrendous enough) and that you can't type grammatical, logical sentences (which is even worse).

Of course there is some truth in what you said. You're not a professional writer and therefore I cannot expect much from you.

But "i can relate. i like the sophistication in your words. keep writing" is just...rubbish and as good as nothing.

QUOTE: "i'm surprisedyou have as many reviewers leaving you reviews at all."

That makes two of us. Then again maybe the people who review your work are like you, in which case you wouldn't have improved at all as a writer since you started writing and you have been of no benefit to your fellow writers.

Quote: i read through some,and somewhat 50% of them said similar things to my review, if not evenshorter.

HAHAHA. People can leave short and meaningful reviews. Yours was short, no doubt about it at all, but completely useless, meaningless, and just a waste of time. And no. There is no shorter review I've received from anyone else in a long long time. Yours is about the shortest I'll ever get for as long as I remain on this site. And no. I do get reviews that actually say something, that are of moderate length.

Quote: and ifound your message somewhat laughable.

Again that makes two of us. Reading that PM from you made me think you had no finger coordination at all. Either that or you're still struggling with the English language.

Quote: rest assured, you will be on my ignore list from now on =)

Yes I know you're such a **-wussy. I doubt you'll even respond to this so yeah. Bye **-wussy.

~Serious Sonneteer

P.S. Your work is sophisticated. Keep writing.

Quite a nice piece.

Lovely piece :) Amazingly written