Nice use of...I'm drawing a blank here, can't remember the term for when one starts a sentence on the same line the previous sentence ended...I think it begins with a J...oh, well, you know what I mean.

This was really good, however, a bit more descriptions would be nice. I liked the "hands over her hazel eyes" line, that would most definitly be a favorite. But if you were to add a few more lines like that in here, it would be fantastic! But aside from all that, I did really like this piece. :D