i like it and think u should continue
i like how u twisted the original "fairytale" of sorts into a dark portrayal of life

i personally really enjoy twisted fairytales
for example, in one of the many peter pan movies (i cant recall which one though...mayb the most recent one?) the mermaids, who were beautiful mystical creatures which everyone automatically assumed that they were nice and caring and were continuously portrayed in that sense, until this movie they were shown as dark, sinful creatures who shouldnt b trusted
now that is my kind of story!

Love it. Hope you continue it!

Wow, intresting prospect. I like the Peter Pan vibe. Never seen a story quite like this. The last few lines are my favorite. Well-written and thought provoking.

You should definitely continue with this.
great title
i liked the ending bit

L O V E

Please continue. I am a big fan of modern retellings of old children's stories. And I must confess that I am particularly intrigued by this one!

Cassandra

I loved Peter Pan and love this version of it as well. Hook seems awesome.

You should definitely continue it; I'm curious as to how you interpret the movie, in the 21st century McQuinn style, of course.

Update soon.

-Tetrys

McQuinn-

I think you should definitely continue this! My favorite part was Peter's plan to escape away to the Indian reservation. It got a laugh out of me. And I like how immature but likable you made Peter sound- why he wouldn't get a driver's license was funny.
Anyway, you got published?! That's awesome! On a side note, I really hope you have plans to publish 'The Raccoon Wars'; I'm sure you'd have no problem getting some company to publish it. I think I'll add you to my favorite author's list too, so i can keep track of all your stories easier...
Thanks again!

-Missy C

You should definitely continue. Not sure where you're going with this, but I think the best parts (and most fun to write) are yet to come.

McQuinn-

I really like this, and I'm getting a feeling once you introduce Tiger Lilly, Wendy and the Lost Boys I'm going to love it more than the original Peter Pan. I'm diggin all the symbolism too- nice bell chimes; makes me wonder if he's either going insane, really being magical, or Tinkerbell is playing a joke on him. All this sounds good. Just don't make Tinkerbell a mute like in the cartoon- that's what always annoyed me. But if you can pull it off I'd like to see what you come up with.
And I want to see Hook bitch out Peter too- my favorite parts of the original Peter/Hook sword dueling was all the stingy insults Peter came up with. You seem to get it down pretty good when Peter was in Hook's office.
Anyway, the more the merrier, and I'd definitely like to see more of this. Hope my review helped.

-h

Wow. I really like the idea behind this story and how it's going in this first chapter. (I love Peter Pan)Definatley keep going. I can't wait to see how the reest turns out.

Continue fool, continue NOW!

Haha, I love how you portrayed Dr. Hook from Captain Hook. XD Awesome.

KEEP GOING.

This was short first piece but it had me laughing all over the place. Especially the bits with Hook: the "who knew?" comment, and Pete's "I think maybe you're an asshole." And of course, all the subtle and not-so-subtle references to Peter Pan are just darling.

...darling. heh.

i love this, it's hilarious. i think you should continue. (:

You should definitely continue with this! Hmm...just don't let it get in the way of Raccoon Wars, cause that is my #1 love.

Things I really like:

-The title
-The way you incorporated all of the Peter Pan references in
-The descriptions he uses

It's an interesting take on the story, and I always like coming across things like that. Very nice job!