I swear to God, I thought I'd reviewed before this...I kept thinking "Isn't it great that I've already reviewed and voted", and then...I realized I hadn't. *groan*
A little late -
Mechanics: Faelien
Originality: Faelien
Best: Chiomi

Stormie, I loved this. You always say you can't write, but every time I read your work I feel hopelessly inadequate. Yes, it's a bit rough around the edges in terms of mechanics, but the characters you create and the truths you see are always amazing.

Mechanics--Chiomi
Originality--Stormcat
Best--Stormcat

Originality: Miffling
Mechanics: Stormcat
Best: Stormcat

This month's were all really fun to read :)

Mechanics: Chiomi
Originality: Faelein
Best: Stormcat

... ow.

You do the serious and depressing so -well-, though...

That was really amazing; I don't know how much research/experience you have, but it -feels- realistic, and because it's in real circumstances, it does a good job as a message-story too - one of those stories that makes you go do research.

The only tiny nitpick I can think of is the diction in Fisher's explosion. It's a little hyper-formal, which can definitely work, but it was confusing for a moment because it didn't fit my mental voice for the character. That might even be intentional - it works, it was just a bit unexpected.

I think that this is really interesting conceptually. It's a little hard for me to analyse because... well, I'm weird. I tend to forsake plot in favor of character development, both when I'm writing and when I'm reading, and your piece is very plot-heavy. That can work really well, and I think it does here; it's just not a writing style I find easy to get into.

I have to say, though, I'm curious about the rest of the gang - are you planning to continue this?

I'm a little biased on this subject - the protagonist's career is -exactly- what I want to do for a career - but I really liked this piece. You convey the foreignness of the cultures, and create a believable otherworld without bogging the story down in details. -And- it's an unusual career, which is much harder to write about than a stereotypical one.

The only nitpick I'd have is the schooling system. It makes sense to have it similar to yours/ours, so people can relate, but making it -exactly- the same (language system, grading scale in classes, types of classes, social cliques...) makes it seem like Earth-with-odd-names - exactly what the rest of your piece avoided.

I think the internalization worked well - it's internal monologue that rambles and flips between subjects pretty realistically, but it makes -sense-.

This is my usual nitpick, I fear, but the sudden jump to dialogue at the end was a bit jarring. The dialogue itself works, but the internal monologue and description pretty much vanish, which shifts the tone.

Otherwise, I really liked this - it makes the protagonist in an often-demonized position very sympathetic, which isn't easy to do.

Hm, I really enoyed them all and they were all good in their own place, but I do have to vote, here goes:
Originality: Stormcat
Technical: Faelin
Best: Stormcat

Best: Stormcat

Originality: Faelien

Mechanics: Chiomi

I'm not much of a commenter at times but I feel like I have to -this- time. Honestly, I was blown away by everyone's stories but, like Mari, I have to pick favorites.

Mechanics- Faelin
Originality-Stormcat
Best-Stormcat

I'm not going to vote, because all the stories are just awesome in their own ways, but I HAVE to comment on this story.

I loved it. The characters are so real, and Jane is just...I'm speechless. This is definitely my favourite.

Wow...just...wow! All those stories were unbelievably good, and I think I read each one at least twice. I'm almost tempted not to vote because I like them all, but I admit to favorites xD

—Mechanics—Lost in Translation, faelein


—Originality—Down the Rabbit Hole: Chapter 1, Miffling

—Best—Sister Courage, Stormcat

You excel at the creepy and psychological.