All right. I love how everything in there rhymed except for salad. I kind of got lost in the middle and didn't really know what was going on, though.

"Sorry attempt at humor"? I was laughing the whole way through, I LOVE the rhyming! The '-ime' sound makes the whole poem so much fun to say aloud.

I also like the way you changed the way some of the words are pronounced, it added to the humor, especially the "bullshit...ime" part.
I also like how you masked the sadness of losing your friends (or not appreciating your friends) with humor.

A job well-done, thank you!

-Salamander