How... interesting. I can't really define my opinion of this too well, considering that's it's rather crazy and difficult to put together from just one puzzle piece. I'm sure it will make more sense in the light of the remaining chapters, naturally. And, through the first-person view, you rather clearly give the impression that this person is pretty much insane. Of course, I don't know what other impression one might receive from a person who eats beta fish. Now, who is this general? I assume that's leading into something else...

omg no another cliffhanger! u have to update soon! I can't wait! But this chapter seems slightly empty compared to the other chapters...i dunno but very good anyway!

aw I hate cliffhangers but I guess its worth it...I like the tempo of how its moving too...never becomes boring! awesome work!

this is incredible...the way u write captures every movement, sound and texture...great chapter!

even though it's a health test thing, it sounds so mysterious...'the white-coat' is kinda creepy in a way...awesome as usual!

This is story is getting beta by the chapter!...it's clever how u scatter pieces of clues everywhere and make us collect and put them together...awesome work again!

a pleasant chapter that warmed by heart...almost made me forget about the 2 previous unsettling chapters...great work!

there's a definite tension in the atmosphere...awesome chapter...i loved it!

There's something different and sinister that I like about it...almost as though something were crawling under my skin...very good though...

Wow, this is incredible!

I'm hooked. :D

-Aly

Good chapter. The dialogue when Io first encounters Zain flows nicely and the pause for this line: "He complied. I exhaled. My body was shaking now and I felt tears spilling out of my eyes. I was crying. I hadn’t cried in so long." works well. Looking forward to the next chapter.

I love the imagery you give us - the "gossamer curtains", the "sun explosion" - beautiful.

I'm sort of curious about the narrator, mostly because I have no idea what's going on. What was so significant about Solis? Who is the General? Hopefully both questions will be answered in time.

Great start!

-Steph

Good opening. I like the parts like this that show her uniqueness. And wow, it's a good thing I went back and read this chapter, it really adds a lot more to it and seems important to the story. Now the chapter I read makes a lot more sense! Sorry for somehow skipping it! Good way in throwing things to the reader piece by piece.

At first I wasn't sure why the first bit was in italics, but by the time I reached the second paragraph I figured it out. (I can be a bit dense at times!) There seem to be a few little errors (like at one point you have "the" instead of "her", just small things). I had no idea who Praetor White was, so I looked back and somehow I missed chapter 4 when you introduced him. So I'll have to go back and read/review that! But it's a good way to end the chapter. I always like a bit of action! :)

First, just a tiny little error almost halfway through. "The authorities would throw in her prison." you have "in" and "her" switched.

Second, is a line down: "What are you thinking, man?" The doctor using the term "man" seems a bit out of character. To me, that's something a youth might say, not an educated man. I suggest either taking out the "man" or finding another word that fits better. (On another note, that doctor sure has some guts to be threatening this man, when he could have killed him on the spot, etc.)

I like how you slipped the year in there, it's nice to have a reference for when this is happening. I also like how you gave little bits of info when her Brother radioed and about her disappearance. A very revealing chapter, we are finally learning more about how she came to be where she is and now, what's going on with her. Nice job.