 faery tragedy 2009-03-14 . chapter 1I'm a sucker for Black Death stories, so I had to check this out. I liked the hints of scenes, sort of like teasers. I thought it worked very well. I also like how you (mostly) begin these small scenes with "Caroline!" or even "Katherine!" The repetition made me feel like I was daydreaming with the last segment and the new segment demanded that I pay attention (in a good way! lol).
I almost like it better that you didn't give any specifics. Her mother doesn't have a name, they don't live on a specific London street (like Fleet or near the Thames). I think either you should give everything names or leave everyone but Caroline nameless, such as the Lord Montague and Katherine. I think that would give it an oddly chilling effect.
As far as historical accuracy goes, I'm not sure if you set the Plague in 1338 as indicated or if that was just recalling when the protagonist was younger. The plague hit London in 1348 and the initial outbreak lasted til 1350s, though there were subsequent outbreaks for centuries. I'm not sure if the rhyme is from that time period (there's some speculation it came during the 1665 one), but it works because you don't have any character directly saying it. The posies were a nice touch, since usually people carried flowers or spices to hold to their noses as they walked past all the death.
Nice job!
*faery tragedy |