 Andrea Lotte 2009-03-15 . chapter 1Oh, I really like this! Like the repetition of "you tell me that I'm beautiful." Your poem's got this great lyrical sense, but still maintains a kind of bitterness. Great balance between your direct words and the more subtle phrases like "empty repetition." One small thing that you could perhaps work on is the "subsequent knowledge of my accomplishments" bit. It doesn't really flow, and reads a little awkward. But the rest of it is absolutely great. You've taken an old cliche of false love and made it your own. Very nice work. |