Really, really good. :)
I like that there's an almost... old-world taste to this. Like modern-Shakespeare, if that makes any sense. It's not all modern e.e. cummings poetry, and it doesn't have a lot of esoteric words, but there's a certain way you've phrased this that makes the poem sophisticated and thought-provoking. I liked your word choice, but I feel like you could have added a little more punctuation (commas and periods) to help with the flow.
Again, this is great!

lovely imagery, clever too. there were some really artistic lines in here. keep writing!

Wow that was simply breathtaking. I loved it.
You have true talent that I hope to someday have.

I just recently posted 2 stories and I would really appreciate it if you could read and review with honest feedback or suggestions. Opinions from a writer like you would mean the world to me!