Crap. that the only word for this story. it is so stupid and badly written i am amazed i mean this makes forbidden look good yeah its just that bad.

Hey!

Oh My God. :O

If you ever publish this or something, let me know! I loved everything in this, and it looks just amazing! Seriously, keep going on. I really liked the way you described his feelings, they are really true. Just keep writing this story, it looks amazing. D

Keep up the good work and don't stop writing! D

You've got a really intriguing set-up here. You've arosed just the right amount of curiosity about the computer program, while cueing the reader in on the main charecter's psychosis. You used a lot of adverbs and adjectives - to the degree where they often felt overused. The action and thought-sequence is interesting enough for the reader to feel drawn into the story. The descriptors just feel overused and clunky with the rest of the story, but otherwise, good start.

Wow, I really loved this! You have such great narration and I love the style of your writing, long descriptive sentences with a few short choppy ones for emphasis. Loved it, you have talent!

I just recently posted 2 stories and I would really appreciate it if you could read and review with honest feedback or suggestions. Opinions from a writer like you would mean the world to me!