I really loved it. I like how it's brutally honest and yet sweet in it's own way, despite what the content is about. I loved Kyle's character. Although I have to say I liked his name more as Rio, haha. But then again, Kyle is more personal and therefore better. I didn't see Brian as a Brian though. More like...John, haha. I really really loved it. It was a good plot, a bit of fluff in but just the right amount to not make it cheesey. The sex scene's were good I thought, especially through Brian's eyes. I love the part where he wishes he could kiss him, pretending that he wants him back and then how it was counter-parted with a more of a lusty tone than a love one when he thinks:

"At least I can taste your nipples.

At least I can have you in my mouth.

At least I can be inside you.

And at least I can fantasize that you want me, too, even if I know better."

I really loved those lines and I found myself re-reading that short part a few times. I liked the "Fruit Loop" name Brian gave the whole scene, and overall, it's just a great story. Well done and everything.

Wow. I love it.

I like how we didn't know everything about these characters' backgrounds. Stuff like how Kyle came to being a whore and what happened to Brian's marriage. It kinda felt like we didn't need to know though, too much detail would have fucked up the flow of the story.

And on the characters, they're some of the most developed I've seen in a oneshot. You managed to make them real without going into too much detail.I loved when Brian was thinking about how Kyle wouldm't be able to understand him wanting more than sex.

The sex scene was done really well, it was so cool how you didn't actually describe what was going on, you just let the characters think what they were thinking. It's actually hotter when some of it's left to the imagination.

"I wish you'd let me kiss you on the mouth – but I kind of understand why you don't. I wouldn't either, in your place.

At least I can taste your nipples.

At least I can have you in my mouth.

At least I can be inside you.

And at least I can fantasize that you want me, too, even if I know better."

That was my favourite part. It was so sad, but so sensual.

The ending made me smile too. Perfection, I have nothing negative to say (and that is new).

I have chosen this as my personal favorite from your stories. This seems to appeal to me the most.

Well, i loved it, there's nothing else I can say!

♥

So... freaking... cute...

You really are good at writing from these diverse perspectives, Failte :) I really felt for both Kyle and Brian. Very simple plot, very well written, and for some reason, sweet. I loved it.



~Sara

That was an interesting piece of work, as usual, and I found the contrasts between viewpoints effective. I'll confess to have wanting a bit more out of the climax of the piece, but stylistically it was in context - sex scenes in the first person where the thought process is paramount tend to be awkward affairs, so it's likely a good thing you handled it as you did. I'd say this was a fine piece of fiction, overall.

If I can be a mite obnoxious, it made waiting for the next chapter of Last Fighter, Last Heart worthwhile~ Ah, don't mind me, I'll wait longer still, s'long as you're writing fiction like this more often. Here's to good reading *toasts*

It is quite obvious that you have a strong grasp of your characters. Many times on this site with stories that share more than one P.O.V, the characters don't have distinct voices, but this story does it perfectly. You can feel Brian's need for any form of intimacy and Kyle's hunger for survival, yet his self-perceived knowledge. The different perspective element really works well in this story because it furthers the character development, rather than just moving through the action. There's a sweetness involved in this that just hangs there amongst the melancholic vibe of the piece. It wasn't a cliche'd hustler piece of angst, but moreso a view into human nature and needs.
A really good read!