Well... I like it...but it's too short.

I guess the two die in the end though... :(

There were a few issues with tense (ex. ("I stared at the back her head with cautious [caution] and worry...") ("I hear[d] lover said to me...")) but that's it. I'm not much of a yuri fan since it's simply not my cup of tea. Still. This was really good and I'm already asking so many questions. Who are they? Are they fleeing from something? If so, what? I want to know more about these two and, really, they seem like such an adorable couple. For a first time shot at yuri, this was excellent and I hope you choose to continue it. 8]

This one also looks intresting. I'd definitely like to read more on it and I like the name Yubell, it's a very pretty name.

The concept you have written sounds exciting and fresh. Or could have been if not cut short.
Is this meant to be a one-shot?
Because whether it is or not, the most important thing that was missing is character detail, development and storyline.
A good start but will need some continuity or more of what I have mentioned.
Hope this is helpful.