The 'slender leviathan' allusion was particularly striking.

For me, I think the most striking line was 'it stretches from April to August lik a slender leviathan...'

Normally there would be no connection between the two months, but I really got a sense of the stretching of time here. It's very good. I've missed your work, update soon. :)

Much love,
Juliet.

I LOVE the metaphor in the beginning. It's so creative and it works so well. I also like the simile you have in there, it was interesting. The whole piece was good because I think a lot of people feel their life is like that. Nice job.

PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or the Review Marathon (links in my profile).

The ending is really good. I like the transition between

waiting, filling in the nothingness
with a longing, a need

Your thoughts progressed nicely. It made the poem have a certain flow to it, even if you didn't have a set rhyme.

Your word choices give the poem a more poetic feel. I love "leviathan" in these lines:

it stretches from April to August
like a slender leviathan
no direction, only forward

And your imagery was great. For the whole poem, I had a clear mental picture of each of your words. Great job!

Thanks for posting!
-Katie, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)

Must we stay within the lines on this inexorable trip into the future. A little doodling seems called for. Very nice.

Peace, Doc

Wow, this is really depressing! It is really sincere, but it makes me sad at the same time. Your a pretty good poet. Is this meant to be a day-to-day journal though?

I like how sincere is this.