Ah, I have nothing to say about this except it was great. I think this has the best continuity out of all the poems of yours I've read; it follows from start to finish with a clear-cut through line and makes for easy reading, not to say it's in any way more simplistic or less faceted.

Excellent, once again. :)

Jules

"Straightforward as a sundial." That's a lovely sexual innuendo.

There's a nice mix of crudeness and longing in this piece. :)

Incredibly bold, but I like it for that! Somehow the elegance and vividity of your language saves this from vulgarity. There's something nightmarish about it still, or at least something of the topsy-turvy feverish world you indicate at the beginning. Original, bright, slightly mad but it works. Nice!

- gold against the soul