"Sir, why do you indulge in this kind of indian giving, you're as good as a grandfather clock." This opening line is riveting! :)

Hallo again!

Let's see. I love the grandfather clock, and especially "indian giving."

The idea of swinging to extremes doesn't feel as original of a line as the rest of the poem, and sticks out to be for that reason - maybe you could turn that image on its head? Just give that line another glance.

Is the "conch shelled" intentional? If not, I'd put "conch shell telephones" ... unless I'm missing something meaningful there ...

"the absence of these things" is pretty wonky syntax - you can shorten it to "their absence"

"a pot full of blood" "evaporated wine clinging to the ceiling" LOVE IT. It's so interesting and visually appealing.

What does "all this and centuries before we can move forward" mean? Am I missing something or are you missing a word?

Excellent. :D

Jules