suki suki banget lah

Aww, that's so sweet. I love stories like this, best friends falling for each other. So sweet:)

is this your first story?
I have to say I like your other story better. this one is too simple than the other one.
about the grammatical mistakes... well, you should find a beta reader, dear ;)
and try to read more English fictions, so that you can get rid of that Indonesian-style English^^
I'm sure you will write better... as good as what you've done in bahasa Indonesia.

cheers^^
-chainsling22-

Aw... that was cute! Even though there were quite a few grammatical mistakes here, it was still very good! Get a beta, and you can't have any problems. Your writing skills are wonderful- you're talented; giften, even- and together with a good beta, you'd just make a perfect story. :D

Well, there are so many grammar mistakes here. Try to improve that. Actually, the idea was great. Try to find a beta-reader.

Try to improve your grammar and sentence formation. Work on the plot.

this was good. for a one shot and for your first one!