Juicy, savory, good job. I like the overall story that you tell, there are only a few things I would change to help it flow. I'll begin with the last- And noted/ and now, we stare. Understandably the first "and" is used to be consistent with your original tempo, the second defines what you're trying to say. However, they are too redundant together. It takes away from the emotion. How to fix it, yet leave everything the same? Comes down to how you want to change it--though I remain adamant that it would be better without said redundancy. Remove one of the ands, change "and now, we state" to "but now, we stare", OR most consistently--just use the last line of the first stanza for the last stanza. "And noted/ Still, we stare" would be perfectly consistent and wrap it all up. I would prefer it, unless the change adulterates what you're trying to say. Then in the fifth stanza, I would change the second and last lines--they just feel awkward, like I am tripping over the text. Those lines have powerful emotion behind them, but can definitely be said in a more salient manner. Lastly, I would change the line "Physical, emotional, spiritual", as the connection of three adjectives to a line is inconsistent with the rest of the body's flow. I would perhaps change it to "The physical, emotional, and spiritual/ leaving nothing to chance". Just a personal preference for flow. Beyond this, well done. I absolutely adore the line "The penultimate is upon us", it's a perfect fit.