Dear bloodyshadow:

Wouldn't it have made more sense for an angel to intervene at the end, instead of for the fiend's heart to melt? The latter is a metaphysical impossibility; the former not only makes good sense, but has one of the greatest of all literary precedents. "Unmündiges Volk, du hast mich überrascht, / Sind mit der Beute himmelwärts entflogen!"

Sincerely,

Bar Sira

I really like this and it doesn't seem to me that it's cliche at all. I like the whole idea of living without a heart, that's neat. Theres something I don't understand though, how did they live happily together for 100 years if she was a mermaid and he wasn't? Would they live on land? In the ocean?

Overall nice job, some things could have been written better with a bit of attention and more description, mostly in the beginning, but it was very nicely done. :)