"even though she got caught in an undertoe
and gracefully pirouetted towards her death." (brilliant)

"I found him behind the brambles near the bank
of a river" (catching)

"despair, you're a light rain.
you tap me on the shoulder and
you kiss my skin but you're not wanted. (beautiful)

an all toghether amazing and emotional piece. great job.

I like this 'girl in skinny jeans' already, and I've only read up to the third line, because she's awesome simply for listening 'to chopin on thursday nights.' :)

The imagery of the jumpsuit man licking cars was so striking. The fact that he does so to 'mark his territory' is brilliant. There's something so frightening about that idea for some reason. It makes this character somewhat 'crazy.' It reminds me of serial killers who take 'trophies' of their victims. *Shudders*

"Despair, you're a light rain." Beautiful line.