very intense.
my Fav. Part:
I lay down in the grass feilds, forget about school or my mus pay bills because right now, at this very moment this amazing breeze is my life and contentment.
i kno exactly that feeling
amazing job. keep writting ;)

"Forget about school or my ‘must’ paid bills..." I think it would be better if you say 'must pay' bills.

"Is it just me or do I see a horse?" This line seemed kind of random. I would think of revising it and making it flow better with the poem. It just seems so abrupt to me.

"Do I see a siren up above the heavens?" I thought it was odd that you used a siren; I would normally associate them with water. But what the hay; it's your poem. :P

"Just admire the splendor and be undenial." Undenial is not a word, and it doesn't really fit in the context.

The last stanza was well-written. It left me with a light and airy feeling. With that said, I feel that this poem has potential; it just needs a bit of revising.

-Ramen

one word: WOW

one word: WOW

one word: WOW


...okay so up there thats three words xD

wooh~
impressive~
Nice one (^_^)