Oh I love it when there's another language in stories, makes them feel so much more real!

I'm honestly a bit confused, (new characters and all) but I'm sure you'll clear it up in later chapters!

Narq.

OOh Scary!

Hm, just wondering, why "end your pain" when she wasn't in pain in the first place?

Also, how can one's hair be "strawberry blonde"? Just wondering, and anyways, I thought it was in Ruby's POV, in which case you are overwriting since you don't consciously think your own hair colour and how it flies into the air (I guess, unless it whipps into your face/eyes).

Narq.

Ack! More! More!

I really like this. It instantly caught my attention and held it all the way through. I can't wait for more.