|Reviews for Hidden|
| Chasing Skylines 4/12/09 . chapter 1
Very nice imagery.
[She randomly kicked at a cluster of the weeds and sent them flying, continuing on her pointless quest of destruction.]
I could imagine this, as well as her other actions so far.
[“What is a weed?” She asked the field.]
Attributive tag. Should be "she," uncapitalized.
[“Same difference.” Emma refuted.]
If you're using 'refute' as an attributive tag (speech tag), then the period after difference should be a comma.
[“What makes you so different?”]
That line seemed so poignant.
Aw, that was touching. Nice piece, and I liked the characterization of Emma.
Good luck in WCC.
| Duckies 4/12/09 . chapter 1
Aww that was just so touching!
I thought the line: "a deep voice said behind her" was a bit redundant, as you'd already mentioned footsteps coming up from behind. Apart from that, really really loved it! It just hit home for me *teardrop* Would be great if you ever chose to expand on this story :)
Good luck for the WCC!
| Dreamweaver38 4/9/09 . chapter 1
I'm crying! That was beautiful! So touching!
I love it!
| Lea Ai 4/8/09 . chapter 1
Sweet and uplifting. A very touching story. The last line was very poetic...I loved it.
| effervescent-sentiments 4/8/09 . chapter 1
Aww. Sweet. Some of the imagery was a little overwrought and overdone, but overall I really liked the mood of the piece. I'd love to see this developed more. I'll put it on story alert just in case you decide to. :)
| Fractured Illusion 4/8/09 . chapter 1
“What makes you so different?”
Wow, that line just hit me you know. Just... BAM! Out of nowhere. I liked it. Very emotional there.
Nice piece, good luck in WCC! :D