Ah, loved the betrayal themes and love the speaker obviously feels for the OoA (object of affection). I especially liked the fact that you kept it open whether the speaker committed suicide over the OoA or if it is all metaphoric and symbolic. Keep writing!
Wow. I can hear the italicized words being said in a dark, menacing voice, unlike the lightness of the rest of the poem. I like the line "Maybe yours could beat for two?"
I really enjoyed the overall flow of the poem, and how it led to a fill of emotions from the character, yet somehow making the tone appear unperturbed. It was a very much appreciated addition to my otherwise boring day. :]
FictionPress.com - let the words flow
