absolutely amazing, i love this so much. the allusions and the use of rhythm with the "one, two three" etc. just genius.

Oh my goodness! You ended it fantastically, gah! You managed to build up a lot of suspense in just that short while. I am envious :)I thought the line "The light trapped in your eyes" was really a nice line. I really like the detail you put in and the whole "one, two, three" and "beat-beat" thing. My only complaint is... why did it half to end so soon!? I want more!

I absolutely love it.The only minor thing, is that you're missing punctuation.Though it's still very amazing.

Oh, you're the author of this? I remember reading this and choosing to review later because I didn't have time...

This poem gave me the chills, it was...wow. The first verse, especially, was flawless.

"How beautiful your cursed soul is
Wrapped in a crimson gown
Take my hand and dance with me
Before the moon goes down"

The moon and dancing part was brilliant.

Another part I liked was the beat-beat, beat-beat between the verses. I can hear it in my mind as I read, and at the end, "Halt"...no more beating. Dead silence.

Also, the "I bow my head by yours" part is exactly what vampires do when they bite (sorry if that's not what your poem was about, but the beating heart and bowing head made me think of vamps). Nice wording.

~Con

Ah--why'd they halt? Now you have me curious...

Loved the seductive themes here. Favorite lines would have to be the "How beautiful your cursed soul is/Wrapped in a crimson gown." Keep writing, this is good!

Damn, very dark, definitely. Creepy. I kind of made it go to a happy beat when i read it tho lol o_O

AMAZING!