Very nice. You seem to like writing about asylums, don't you :).

The anxiety is well conveyed here, though some of the lines seem a bit long after the abrupt structure of previous lines. For example, "twisting across/ the cold gray/ stone." Myself, I would remove the word "the" and other similar words in later lines to keep the rushed, panicked feel.

But then, that's just my opinion :) I did enjoy it nonetheless.

I had to read this twice- it sounds really nervous and jittery when read outloud. I love how fast it moves and how anxious it is- the tone of the words really play with the idea of who (in an asylum) is saying it. That was a reall cool effect! Awesome job writing!

I am completely in love with the first stanza-- darkly beautiful. I also love the rest, of course. :] The imagery is very vivid, it captures the frenzy of the situation. Great work!

Oh. My. Gosh.
That was beautiful. :D
I love the imagery, i loved the format, the words in parentheses. Wow this one is amazing. I like the color's attacking part. Very lovely job! :D

Rolliepollie44

wow! this is great. i love the symbolism of color. excellent!

the verse 2 is great and the whole poem is good.